5 Best College Courses for Student Stoners

How to get lit and also Shakespearean lit.

College is hella tight. And it's a period of exploration, too. 

You'll learn much about yourself. You'll probably develop poor taste in music. And today, where higher education is a commodity and American graduates owe more than 1 trillion dollars in student loan debt, you'll likely have to offer up a singular breast or testicle as collateral for that degree.

It can be worth it. But that's on you, and frankly, a bigger conversation than I'm trying to get into right now. (It's Friday and you can send gifs on Tinder now, so...)

I digress. As I tend to do. Anyway, some of these courses actually exist, while the others probably shouldn't, but it would be chill if they did. 

Science Fiction and Fantasy Writing

While studying creative writing at Arizona State University (Go ahead, let it out), I actually took this course. And indeed learned much about the literary value we can find in future dystopias. But more often than not, if I was en route to class with my copies of The Collected Stories of Philip K. Dick or Harrison Bergeron in hand, best believe I blazed up beforehand. Nothing like a little toke on some green dragon before attempting to defend examples of feminism or the prodigal son in stories about green dragons that take place on planets with like, five suns. 

Representing the Marijuana Client

Legal marijuana is a multi-billion dollar industry, poised to grow into a major economic engine for America's future generations. It's also not totally a thing yet, and pot is still considered a synonym to heroin or crack by the crackpots running the War on Drugs. Either way, this course that is actually offered to students of the Sturm College of Law at University of Denver, could have you poised to be the next big weed lawyer in the game

GradLife 405: What Not to Become When You Leave Here

This wouldn't necessarily be a course––and would also benefit the non-blazed members of the student body––but would be a lecture hall filled with portraits of people throughout history that were eventually outed as being lame as hell. Tyrannical leaders from around the world, Paula Dean, Martin Shkreli––you get it. The 2016 presidential primary debates will be broadcast via projector in an endless loop at the front of the hall. 

The Library

Again, not a course. Just a good place to blaze up and subsequently load up on knowledge on your own terms. Enterprising students have used their campus library to launch careers as web cam models. Others find it a relaxing place for an afternoon nap. Though, I'm sure with the rising cost of tuition, some students are low-key living in the library. 

Toking Up 333: The Art of the Twist and Breakthroughs in 21st Century Paraphernalia

If you were accepted into college and still don't know how to roll a joint, you probably go to Harvard, or are planning to drop out of Stanford in the next few months to launch a social network that will change how humans across the globe communicate. For everyone else, college is one of the few periods in your life where you'll have the time to learn how to roll a joint that resembles the president/hazemaster of your fraternity; or the disposable income (re: leftover student loan money) to drop hundreds or thousands of dollars on expensive glass. This class would make that a formal process, and also a humanities credit.