A Xanax-Filled Donut Was Delivered to a New Jersey High School Student

Are drug-laced donuts the next Cronut? Probably not.

What is your favorite donut filling? Custard? Jelly? Xanax? 

If you answered the last one, you're not alone in your love of breakfast pastries and benzodiazepines. On Wednesday, a local New Jersey news outfit reported a Bordentown Township high-school student was on the receiving end of just that. 

From NBC4:

"Police say [a 21-year-old man] told the main office at Bordentown Regional High School that the bag contained lunch for [an] 18-year-old senior [sic]...School officials on March 16 became suspicious and discovered a small plastic bag containing six prescription pills placed in the doughnut's hole."

Nobody will deny the level of brazenness on display here, though I am curious as to what constitutes probable cause, for school officials to poke around in the holes of their student's donuts? What about the donut was giving off vibes that it might contain a bag full of prescription drugs? Never once have I seen a French cruller and expected it to be packed to the brim with footballs and benzo bars.

So it goes. 

According to reports, the youths on both ends of this smuggle-job gone wrong are facing possession and distribution charges––which according to this New Jersey drug attorney, could carry a penalty of up to 18 months in prison and expensive fines.

This is only the latest in a long string of news reports telling the tale of American teens bringing edibles and other drugs to school. I think we all know the solution to this problem. 

Ban school! Or, just like, you know, be open with our nation's youth about its severe drug laws and provide them with increased access to harm reduction information.