03.28.2016
news

Congrats on Your Engagement, Jon Lovitz, Maybe?

'The Critic' star is allegedly engaged to actress Jessica Lowndes.

Over a series of social media posts, actress Jessica Lowndes, most known for her work on the CW's 90210 remake, revealed her lover and fiance to be Jon Lovitz, one of the funniest little weirdos to ever grace Hollywood.

Good get, Lovitz. Way to use your fame and talent to shatter accepted standards of beauty.

Lowndes began teasing out the information with totally normal, borderline erotic photos like this:

Seems dangerous.

After several more insinuating posts, the reveal finally happened on Lovitz's Twitter account:

Nice, nice. Get it, you crazy lovebirds. 

In typical fashion, the Internet lost its collective shit, cramming every joke possible into its clever tweets or, more nastily, dragging the good name of Jon Lovitz through a disgusting barrage of insults regarding his, in this editor's opinion, quite stately appearance. Jon Lovitz fine as hell. 

But! As Christine Teigen and a slew of other cynical realists have commented, something smells a bit fishy about all of this.

Ah, the whole relationship very well could be a sham.

We'll put aside for a second the disappointing human necessity to find some nefarious justification for this B-list hottie to be shacking up with a titan of comedy of "questionable" beauty. April Fools? Possibly. But doubtful.

An April Fools joke needs a link to some other promotion. And if that is the case, I'm excited to see what silly project this is PR churn for or, more hopefully, that it's real and we have a wealth of gorgeous social media posts to digest as Jon and Jessica live happily ever after.

He just wants to be loved! Is that so wrong?!

UPDATE: As suspected, Lowndes admitted it was an early April Fools joke.

She seems...a bit...weird! Anyway, let's hope this post is the real hoax because I was hoping we'd get a mega weird reality show out of their relationship. 


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