01.25.2016
culture

10 Totally Drunk Celebrities Being Trashed on TV

Famous people are just like you and me—better off sticking to weed.

We love celebrities. We love celebrities even more when they turn up on the TV thing, and they are really, really drunk—for millions of people to see. Why do celebrities get drunk and go on TV? Because they can. That’s why. They are not like you and me. They live by a completely different set of rules and laws that govern their celebrity universe.

Need proof? Number 7 is going to make you go “uh-oh!” Here are some of your favorite trashed celebs:

1) Steve-O Wasted on Too Late With Adam Carolla

Remember when Adam Carolla had a talk show? I don’t. But we do remember Steve-O from Jackass before he went to treatment, right? Well, this is probably one of the reasons he ended up in rehab. On this occasion, Steve-O was probably the drunkest man ever to be a guest on any television talk show—ever. The segment starts out smirk-ishly amusing. It segues into dark and disturbing as Steve-O starts wrestling Carolla and humorlessly smashes a table with his foot. It doesn’t help matters that his pants fall down. Surprisingly, Steve-O doesn’t return after the commercial break.

2) Orson Wells Shitfaced on Wine Trying to do a Wine Commercial

Orson Wells directed Citizen Kane—one of the greatest movies ever madewhen he was 25. Decades later, he was banished from Hollywood, ostracized at a Dante's Inferno-level of showbiz purgatory where his career consisted of doing wine commercials. Was one of the greatest film directors of all-time happy about this? Well, check out some outtakes from his “We Will Sell No Wine Before Its Time" TV commercial. Also, check out how patient these unknown actors are performing alongside the legendary/drunken Orson Wells. This clip will make you scream, “Rosebud!”

3) Manchester United Great George Best Drunk as a Skunk

George Best was arguably one of the greatest football (soccer) players in history. When Best played for Manchester United, he was one of the first true rock stars of the sport—and he lived that lifestyle as well. Sadly, as this appearance on a British talk show attests, Best was equally famous for the copious amounts he would drink. A glassy-eyed Best tells the host, “I like screwing.” No one laughs. The rest is drunken history. 

4) TJ Miller with Egg on His Face

TJ Miller is great playing the obnoxious asshole, Erlich, on TV’s Silicon Valley. He’s less funny being drunk and obnoxious in real-life—such as on his recent appearance on The Late Show With Stephan Colbert. Miller smashes an egg on his face; much to Colbert’s extreme annoyance. Watch this cringe-worthy clip; Colbert is a very, very patient man.

5) Courtney Love Attacks Madonna

The year was 1995. The occasion was the MTV Video Music Awards. Madonna was being interviewed by MTV VJ Kurt Loder. And then….enter train wreck Courtney Love. She crashes Madonna’s interview by throwing things at Madonna then rushing the interview platform. Watch, how annoyed Madonna gets during her faux-British-accent stage. There’s a lot of falling down in this clip.

6) Ed McMahon Shitfaced on Johnny

The '70s seemed like a time when downing a few highballs and going on TV was just a talk show norm. One man takes it a step further.

Here’s Tonight Show sidekick, Ed McMahon, completely trashed. Back then they just laughed it off—rather than have the show regular be fired after a Twitter shaming. Ed confesses to holding a baby gorilla. Watch this very drunk man.

7) Mark Wahlberg Drunk in the U.K.

In the U.K., they find it funny when celebrities appear drunk on TV. It’s part of their culture. Thus was the case with Mark Wahlberg on The Graham Norton Show. Wahlberg feels up Graham Norton. He also dozes off, slurs his words, and won't allow Sarah Silverman to finish her bed wetting story. It starts out normal—and quickly veers into a train wreck.

8) John Stamos Drunk Aussie-Style

Watch as all John Stamos's jokes fall flat during a 2007 appearance on Australian talk show Mornings with Kerri-Anne, and he blames being drunk on jetlag. Uncle Jessie also takes one step closer to being an angry drunk, going on about someone’s small penis. But let’s stress one point: John Stamos loves Australia, goddamnit!

9) James Brown Drunk Out of His Mind

The Godfather of Soul was absurdly drunk during an appearance on Sonya Live. It doesn’t help that Mr. Brown was on the show to talk about allegations of shooting at his wife. Brown manages to do a drunken greatest hits medley and mentions he’s single and wants to mingle. Just remember, you can only be drunk on national TV when you feel good and are living in America.

10) Oliver Reed Trashed on Letterman

Oliver Reed is one of the legendary hard-drinking actors of all time. Back in 1987, he made an appearance on the Letterman show. He comes out like he just pissed behind the backstage curtain—and then almost knocks Dave to the ground before he even takes a seat. Here’s a man who could drink Lee Marvin under the table—perhaps because he was a hardened alcoholic. Okay, not so funny anymore, is it? Remember, Reed loves trees and boats. This clip is as fun as watching the drunkest guy in the bar ramble on.

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