11.22.2016
culture

A KINDLAND Thanksgiving Guide to Weed Wednesday and Green Friday

This is a multi-tiered re-up; so take notes, or like, a screenshot.

We all have that relative. You know the one. The cousin, or aunt, or uncle, or step-brother who you’re not very close with, but when you get together, you’re thick as thieves; and you get into the good kind of trouble. This is the person who taught you how to open a beer bottle with a lighter. They probably gave you your first smut magazine, back in the day, or they took you to a strip club for the first time. You may have potentially bailed them out of jail once, possibly twice.

This relative is not always dependable, but year-after-year, without fail, they will show up to Thanksgiving dinner with a knowing grin, and a pocket full of weed. They have a pre-roll for before dinner; pre-dessert dabs, on lock. You’ll be midway through Grandma’s famous mashed potatoes, when they reach over your plate and spike the taters with some hash oil.

Get a nice crumble, or clean shatter. Hell, it’s a holiday––spring for a terpene-rich, flavored distillate.

Perhaps you are this cousin! In that case, you know about Green Friday––the weed world-equivalent to retail’s Back Friday, the biggest shopping day of the year. Dispensaries traditionally offer increased deals on Green Friday. Some pot retailers might even host infused-foods parties, or offer free dabs (on the DL, of course) at the counter. Green Friday is great. Who doesn’t love it?

But don’t forget about Weed Wednesday––the day before Thanksgiving.

From a Headset data analysis, via Bloomberg:

“Last year, marijuana sales the day after Thanksgiving [sic] were up 13 percent from the average Friday. . . Sales were up 27 percent across the board, leading Headset to dub [the day before Thanksgiving] Weed Wednesday. [Washington] dispensaries sold 58 percent more edibles and 72 percent more beverages than on an average Wednesday.”

An uptick in dispensary sales is common around holidays. Headset reportedly saw a similar surge in Washington edibles purchases around the Fourth of July and Memorial Day. But look at the calendar. It's practically Weed Wednesday right now; and maybe it actually is Weed Wednesday.

What should you pick-up from the dispensary to ensure that you and your 420-friendly relatives stay high for the whole Thanksgiving celebration/debacle?

This is a multi-tiered re-up, so take notes, or like, a screenshot.

Concentrates (Yes, this includes vape products.)

Thanksgiving Day is as long as it is filled with food. Provided you have all of the appropriate accoutrements––rig, torch/e-nail, dabbing tool, iron lungs––you’ll want to start out with a healthy-sized dab. You don’t want to be bouncing off the walls on that amphetaweed, or nodding off before dinner is served; so maybe stick to a hybrid strain. Get a nice crumble, or clean shatter. Hell, it’s a holiday––spring for a terpene-rich, flavored distillate. If you don’t have the gear, a hash oil vape pen will do the job just the same, sans the instant gratification. This line of “dose pens,” from hmbldt is a personal fave. 

Edibles

TBH, it’s Thanksgiving. Skip the edibles for a day. You’ll already be a perpetual motion machine of food consumption for at least six of 24 hours. When you’re not eating, you’ll be explaining why you’re still single, married, or getting divorced. Or playing cards with the non-stoned members of the family. Or watching football. (If you're into that sort of thing.) The holiday is about being thankful, not falling facedown into a bowl of mashed potatoes, or insulting your grandma by being unable to eat the pie she slaved over because some improperly labeled weed brownie has you high as hell and calling the police on yourself. Plus, there will surely be tons of free or discounted edibles on Green Friday.

Flower/Pre-Rolls

We reiterate: It’s Thanksgiving. Go nuts, baby! Just do you. On Weed Wednesday, get a gram of a fresh, potent sativa to ward off that post-meal, tryptophan-induced turkey-coma. Lemon Haze is a shredder for life. Maybe go down that road. Then don't forget to pick up an indica for when you want to roll up that end-of-the-day, digestive J-bird. Any strain will do. 

 

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