An Ode To The 'Mystery Smoke'

The occasional session with grab bag chronic makes marijuana fun again.

It only takes one misadventure with super-strong edibles to know experimenting with weed is no careless act. Before consuming any cannabis problem, you probably ask yourself: What level of THC did my flower test at, and what are the origins of this strain? Does this extract contain residual solvents? Will this hash make me tired or twacked out? Are these CBD-infused cacao, almond, and date snacks gluten-free? Was this pre-roll hand-rolled? Where was this weed tested, or was it tested at all?

This is fine. The informed consumer is generally satisfied with their purchasing decisions, and most people just like what they like. And now, as cannabis culture grows more mainstream by the day, becoming more knowledgeable on all-things-weed is easier than ever. Even your mom knows how to properly micro-dose, which is dope. You shouldn’t have to consider yourself a “cannabis connoisseur” in order to avoid smoking on some potentially pesticide-ridden trees or getting ripped off. 

Still, there’s something to be said for blazing down on the chronic without any preconceived notions, or even knowing what type of weed you’re about to smoke.

"The mystery smoke is less of a dragon chase, and more of a surprise party."

There’s an innocuous naivety that accompanies any such “mystery smoking” that will have you feeling stoned and nostalgic for when you first got into pot. Think back to the first time you smoked. Did you ask the other wide-eyed and eager noobs what strain they were (probably poorly) rolling up? Did you examine the flower for terpenes and determine it was likely high in limonene, which is why you were able to detect subtle hints of citrus and nodes of pine? Did you question the plant’s cannabinoid content and sigh with disappointment when you learned it didn’t contain any CBD? Hell no. That would have made the whole ordeal way less fun. 

Sometimes knowing everything about what you’re about to do makes doing it feel more like a chore than a treat. The mystery smoke is less of a dragon chase and more of a surprise party.

Certainly, we have respect for the ritual, but when it comes to weed, spontaneity is also to be desired. And people consume cannabis for a shit ton of reasons, each with their own unique intentions. There’s a difference between being handed a “Jeffrey” that could contain something else entirely and simply letting go, giving yourself over to experience and indulging one’s sense of adventure. The lead-up to smoking some mystery weed is the climb to the first drop on a rollercoaster. You inhale, take your first hit, and you’re over the edge. Anything is possible. You could be pleasantly surprised or kind of disappointed––which is ok, too. The weed world is vast, and there’s always a new strain to be sampled, another dab to be taken. 

Obviously, rolling one up from a bag of “mystery weed” isn’t the move to make each and every time you toke up. That would be straight silly. But here is some weed wisdom to pass onto your smoking circle: Next time you want to feel truly alive with the glory of the ganja, give the mystery weed a try.

Thanks to Stab magazine for the inspiration for this post.