Ansel Elgort Is Pretty Good
Fran defends Ansel Elgort: a walking, pubescent reaction to a Jerky Boys bit.
Ansel Elgort is a 21-year-old actor best known for his lead role in the film adaptation of John Green’s best-selling YA novel The Fault in Our Stars. He has a handsome jawline, kissable lips, and big brown eyes. He has the type of body that makes you say, “okay, sure.” If you are of an age that finds 21-year-old men attractive (sure! why not!), you are probably attracted to him.
I don’t know how it happened but it suddenly became very easy to hate Ansel Elgort. Maybe it’s because he’s a DJ who goes by the name Ansolo? (We get it*.) Maybe it’s because he behaves like a doofus at Knicks games? Maybe it’s because his Chipotle order is, I mean, putting it lightly, very fucking obnoxious?
Whatever your reasoning is for finding Ansel Elgort to be the butt of your Twitter joke, allow me to politely step in and say: Hey, back the hell off. Ansel––who I now feel comfortable referring to by first name only––is pretty good. Trust me. He’s your little brother’s neighbor friend who grew up to be unexpectedly hot. He’s harmless. He’s amiable. He’s a doofus with abs, which, last time I checked, is the American dream.
Can you imagine going to see DJ Ansolo play a show in Vegas? I can, because it is a thing I fantasize about going to do all the time
My boy Ansel is a pretty good actor. I liked The Fault in Our Stars! I liked Ansel in The Fault in Our Stars! I would not use the internet to lie about how much I cried watching that movie. His puffy little face emoted so perfect. Is there anyone else doing such a wonderful job of playing “teen boy who behaves like he’s above feelings but has them anyway?” Don’t answer that. I get overwhelmed just thinking about him in that one scene. You know which scene I’m talking about. It’s the––never mind. Just watch it. I refuse to use this paragraph to address his performance in the Divergent series because those films aren’t good for anyone. Regardless, would a bad actor be cast in an upcoming movie called Billionaire Boys Club? I’ll let you answer that for yourself.
Ansel––or as he is known in the EDM world, Ansolo––is also pretty good at being a DJ. My gauge of being good at being a DJ is 100 percent based on my viewing of the 2015 film We Are Your Friends (which Ansel was not in). I don’t know if other DJs would consider DJ Ansolo good. I know that his main single "To Life" is the type of song that I’ve listened to on repeat for no other reason than wanting to listen to it on repeat. It’s a baffling hybrid of electronic and klezmer music (there’s some Jewish heritage in my boy Ansolo, which could be the main reason I like him). Can you imagine going to see DJ Ansolo play a show in Vegas? I can, because it is a thing I fantasize about going to do all the time.
While Ansel is questionably good at many things, he is unequivocally good at Twitter:
His Twitter feed is also filled with retweets from girls who see him in public and take pictures with him. Ansel loves taking pictures with girls, an activity widely considered to be a nice thing to do. I would love to take a picture with Ansel one day. Nothing would be better. “Haha, I’m being so embarrassing,” I would say, completely composed. He would hug me without me asking for one. Ansel is 6’4”.
Ansel is here to stay, whether you like him or not. It’s gonna be okay. He’s a young actor. He will be good in some movies and bad in other movies. The Earth keeps spinning. There are more harmful boys to worry about. Take a deep breath. Let yourself fall in love with him, or at least fall in like with him, or at least tolerate him. He’s pretty good.