NASA Telescope Reveals New Planets, Possibly Also Interstellar Weed

Humankind could soon be smoking pot with aliens, well, kind of.

On Wednesday, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration a/k/a NASA announced discovery findings that should rock the respective worlds of scholars, dreamers, truth-seekers, nerds, stoners, JJ Abrams, and pretty much every conscious Earth organism. A NASA telescope offered researchers a glimpse of seven Earth-sized, potentially life-sustaining “exoplanets,” not-too-far from our place under the sun. 

From a NASA press release:

“NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope has revealed the first known system of seven Earth-size planets around a single star. Three of these planets are firmly located in the habitable zone, the area around the parent star where a rocky planet is most likely to have liquid water. The discovery sets a new record for greatest number of habitable-zone planets found around a single star outside our solar system. . . At about 40 light-years (235 trillion miles) from Earth, the system of planets is relatively close to us, in the constellation Aquarius. Because they are located outside of our solar system, these planets are scientifically known as exoplanets.”

The discovery findings, which were first published Wednesday in the journal Nature, offer the first fragmented answers to any questions of humanity’s lone, or shared existence within space and time as intelligent beings.  Or more simply put, the identification of these exoplanets is indicative of an educated “maybe,” in response to the the query: Do aliens exist?

According to the NASA release, "All of these seven planets could have liquid water––key to life as we know it––under the right atmospheric conditions, but the chances are highest with the three in the habitable zone." And speaking with the Independent, Dr. Amaury Triaud, of Cambridge, England's Institute of Astronomy, and a NASA co-researcher, said: “We hope we will know if there's life there within the next decade.”

The potential to know about, or maybe even come face-to-face (or like, telescope-to-face?) with interstellar life is decidedly rad as hell. For more information on the NASA discovery, starry-eyed Earth inhabitants should log onto the live-streamed media briefing from NASA TV studio in Washington, Wednesday afternoon. The scientist-led discussion will be followed by a Reddit AMA (Ask Me Anything) on exoplanets at 3 PM EST.

And of course, when any sick, sad, stoned, or otherwise out-of-this-world news goes down, KINDLAND's first thoughts turn to weed. As such, we've compiled some questions on cannabis, in relation to the exoplanet discovery, that the 420-focused media consumer might hope to ask NASA and the Spitzer telescope research team. . . . We don't expect to receive any responses within the next decade or, frankly, ever. 

In regard to NASA's recent discovery, where is the weed at?

Would the medical marijuana recommendation cards of patients on TRAPPIST-1 be considered valid on any of the orbiting exoplanets? 

If the exoplanets contain liquid water, what then is the possibility that any hypothetical cannabis on these rocky, Earth-like formations is hydroponically grown? And is said herb indo? Outdo? Or "exo?" 

Where might one find a trap house on TRAPPIST-1?

If an exoplanet worker or astronaut tests positive for marijuana, is it legal for said space-employee to be fired from their job?

Similarly, can exoplanet medical marijuana patients simultaneously be holding weed and possess a weapon?

According to NASA, "The planets also are very close to each other. If a person was standing on one of the planet’s surface, they could gaze up and potentially see geological features or clouds of neighboring worlds, which would sometimes appear larger than the moon in Earth's sky."

How many dabs would it take to achieve this effect on Earth?