03.15.2016
culture

Watching 'High Hipsters'

I try to view a YouTube Channel with psychologically detrimental consequences.

Meet Alice and Clark, two ambitious, self-proclaimed Hollywood hipsters with an enthusiasm for cannabis culture and vlogging. This adorkable couple meets in the confines of their “Dabbin Cabin,” alongside their black cat, Indi(ca), to get high, discuss getting high, and to showcase their high personalities. A co-worker mentioned that he wasn’t sure whether they were the worst, or bound for viral fame.

It seemed interesting enough to look into. The couple has posted 21 videos to their channel, High Hipsters, in a little over a month, nearly one every other day. They’re working hard! And they’ve got a hook, I guess. They’re hipsters. Or, some Urban Outfitters x T-Mobile circa 2011 cartoon version of whatever that word once meant. The videos have only racked up a scant few hundred views at most, and it seemed there wasn’t much there to write about. The vloggers’ biggest crime was that of being boring, or too blissed out to be interesting.

But I still had some questions. Are Alice and Clark actors? Are they actually a couple, and if so, why is there such an absolutely perplexing chemistry between them? Maybe they’re actors looking for exposure while mixing passions. Or maybe just opportunistic stoners trying to capitalize on the ever-expanding marijuana product industry. Similar to beauty product, there’s a wealth of capital for weed brands in vlogging and unboxing. And having a rich personality isn’t often required—some glassy eyed teens meticulously detail glassware in monotone and net hundreds of thousands of views. 

Ah, product placement, our old friend. We’ve been doing this for decades. And though it’s no surprise, it still bums me out how quickly it proliferated within the movement to legalize marijuana, or, worse, how much the latter depended on the former. Greed en masse often leaves good things broken in its wake.

Anyway, I’m sitting there watching these videos, bored, anxious, dwelling on the darker parts of living in society, fretting over the necessity of product placement. So I said, “Fuck it,” grabbed my G-Pen Elite portable vaporizer, and went for a walk. 

In the alley behind work, I packed the pen with a heavy indica. I had to do this in the alley because unfortunately, The Kind’s office isn’t equipped with a Dabbin Cabin. We do have a Screaming Silo, which is nice. 

Suddenly, I realized I was torched out of my skull. The pen was working. The High Hipsters faded from my memory as I floated through the neighborhood, pulled by some invisible tether to Sprouts.

Have you ever been to Sprouts? It’s like a Phoenix Trader Joe's somehow filled with San Diegans. Or at least, that’s what it felt like when I was ripping a vape beside their salad bar. Things were looking up. I knew I was blitzed and blessed when a woman gave me a free sample of cheese.

However, the darkness almost returned when I realized that Sprouts only serves drinks that are marketed to the health conscious, and more often than not, to further convince the customer that the is healthy, they make them taste like crap. There is no drink here for a person as stoned as I.

On the walk back to the office, I think about the High Hipsters again. They rub me the wrong way, sure, but disagreeable motives aside, l can’t be too harsh on people seemingly having a good time without harming anyone else. In fact, I just don’t want to think about it at all anymore. I decided to take a nature break. Here, look at this nature with me.

Nice. But then, right after this nature, some devastatingly clever street artist had to go and throw some ideology in my face. I’m walkin’ here!

Ups and downs, I guess. 

But overall I was feeling much better. Sometimes you just need a quick break from negative thoughts. It’s good to be out in the sun when you’re stoned, walking around, sucking up all the sounds of the city instead of worrying about YouTube channels and Dabbin’ Cabins and product placement.

Anyway, buy the G-Pen Elite today.

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