Weed 101: A First-Timers Guide To Getting High
Sup, n00bs? Here's how to do weed the right way.
If you’re reading this website, the likelihood that you already do, or will soon smoke marijuana, or consume it via one of the myriad methods currently known to mankind, is fairly high.
Indeed, weed is pretty tight. But before you blindly begin toking up, there are a few things to consider to ensure your first time goes smoothly, safely, and that you are blissing out the right way, and riding only good vibes.
The Right Weed
There is an innumerable amount of cannabis strains currently available to consumers. And oftentimes, the names of these strains are less than indicative as to what kind of flower you’ll actually be smoking, or the high it will produce. Others are misleading, or perhaps make weed seem more intimidating. (Green Crack is delightful, not scary. Blue Cheese is not a salad dressing.)
In time you’ll learn which strains you like, don’t like, and which ones are best-suited for particular occasions/scenarios. But for your first time the only decision you really have to make, should be whether you prefer indica, sativa, or a hybrid. To put it simply: An indica will give you a dreamy, mellow high (and might lead to an impromptu nap), while a sativa will get your creative juices flowing and give you an uplifting high. A hybrid will do a little of both.
The Right Device
Much like the different kinds of weed, there are a massive number of methods with which to consume cannabis. Vaporizers, dab rigs, bongs, edibles, transdermal patches, eating actual nugs (if you’re a total weirdo.)
But for your first time, nothing really beats the experience of simply smoking the herb out of a traditional glass pipe. These are fairly easy to find––just walk into virtually any smoke shop––easy to carry discreetly, and even easier to break. As such, investing in a small pouch, or satchel, or case with which to hold your pipe in, is a good idea. This is true tenfold for vape pens.
Weed grinders are small, easy to find, and come in every pattern, color, and style imaginable. These simple machines make the act of breaking down bud––which will make it easier to pack up, provide better, more smooth hits–-and also add to the pre-smoking ritual of weed, which can elicit an anticipatory high all its own.
Something to Drink
There is nothing worse than cottonmouth. Except maybe not being stoned. That sucks too. Regardless, your first time hitting the pipe will likely result in some harsh coughs, and cottonmouth. So come prepared, bring a water bottle, a soda, some juice, or maybe even a raw cannabis smoothie.
Eye Drops (Optional)
The first time you smoke, we can pretty much guarantee that your eyes are going to be so bloodshot red, that you might as well hold up a sign that reads: “Hey, I just smoked weed!”
If you’re worried about the cops, or anyone else for that matter, coming down on you for your weed-usage, do yourself a favor and grab some eye drops beforehand. They’re cheap, can be found at any convenience store, and you’ll remain incognito, while stealthily elevated.
A Chill Spot
The first time you get high on weed, things are going to feel different. And as with any first-time psychoactive experience, you won’t be able to predict how it will feel, or how you’ll react. Still, one thing you can control, is your environment. As fun as getting high and going for an adventure may be, if this is your first time doing weed, you should avoid public spaces until you’re comfortable with the cannabis high. Staying inside is chill, but if you’re worried you might get claustrophobic, seek out solace under the sun in say, your backyard, or perhaps along an empty stretch of sand at the beach.
Becoming paranoid is totally a possibility, especially if the weed you’re smoking is a sativa strain, and you’re sitting on the couch. Nonetheless, any tweaking or noiding out can be avoided, if the space you occupy is one of chill vibes: Low lighting, your favorite music, and a plentiful supply of munchies on deck, are all conducive to creating a comfortable and chill smoking space.
When THC enters the bloodstream, the chemical reaction will release dopamine throughout your system. The flood of good feelings might induce a boost in creativity, stimulate your senses, and can lead to increased introspection. When on weed, it’s probable you might start thinking some pretty weird shit.
Is time even real? How long is the average human tongure? What really is purple?
Hell, the first time our intern got high, she said she questioned the reason as to why humans have elbows. Hanging out with chill, non-judgmental people you trust, and know fairly well, is an absolute must when it comes to all things weed-related. If someone is harshing your vibes, it would be wise to tell them to kick rocks, sooner than later, should you hope for your chill vibes to remain on high.
Listening to music while on drugs can be a transformative experience. This remains true for the first-timer, to the daily doser.
Whether you’re into classic rock, hardcore, dubstep, reggae, or hip-hop, pick the tunes you know you love, and make a playlist that will be the soundtrack for your first smoking experience. Who knows, maybe you’ll come to associate certain songs with getting high, and every time you hear that song from then on out, you’ll know it’s time to get lit.
Something To Do
If you’re not glued to the couch, and feel comfortable leaving your smoking sanctuary, getting high and doing stuff is the best.
Read, watch a movie, go skating, surfing, out to eat, hit up a show, go be a mall rat, do whatever it is that you would otherwise be doing. The best high will enhance a situation, not create a scene.
As always, be responsible: Don’t dab and drive. Don't dab and operate heavy machinery. Don't dab and attempt to tweeze your eyebrows. And whatever you do, don’t fall asleep in the backseat of an Uber (not that we're speaking from personal experience or anything).