04.08.2016
news

Hipsters Love Weed, Tattoos, and Whole Foods

Same. So let's get them all up in one cut.

Whole Foods knows what's up. 

Mostly. Aside from charging $8 and an equity stake in the naming rights of your first-born for a g*ddamn macaroon, the high-end and wholesome grocery chain is pretty tight. 

Though, have you ever been balls (of falafel and bbq tofu and teriyaki mini-meat-bz) deep at the hot bar at Whole Foods and thought to yourself: I could firrealz go for an eighth of some dank ass nugs and then maybe squeeze in some work on my sleeve before I jet out to go do hot yoga/other millennial stuff?

Enter 365 by Whole Foods Market. The chain's new low-price option that was seemingly named by Park's and Recreation's Tom Haverford, and hopes to feed/market-to broke-ass mothaf*ckin' millennials who are only DTP $6-per-macaroon. 

The stores, the first opening in Silver Lake, Los Angeles, next month and not-soon-enough, will feature lifestyle/gentrified, but probably damn tasty post-blaze-down staples such as customizable teas and coffee bars and vegan fast-caszh.

Oh yeah, and marijuana dispensaries and tattoo parlors have applied to get down with 365 by WFM.

From Washington Post:

"Jeff Turnas, president of 365 by Whole Foods Markets, said in an interview that he and his team have “looked and turned over every stone to find efficiencies...Turnas said they’ve received video pitches or other inquiries from at least one tattoo parlor, more than one marijuana dispensary, and a pet grooming business."

The homie, JT leaves the reader hanging on the edge of a cliff as to whether or not 365 by Whole Foods Markets will be 420-Friendly. 

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