10.04.2016
lifestyle

How 2 Hav Fun When U R Br0ke

4 tips for your broke ass to thrive.

I can mimic the persona of a laid-back Los Angeleno who always has interesting new outfits and hairdos while at the same time having no discernible career or source of income: But it sure doesn't feel great. 

Though financially things might feel a bit in shambles, it’s important to remember that money and success does not a life make. As in, we’re all still living our lives, even though we can’t afford our Omega 3s or Probiotics of choice. So, how does one live their best life when all they wanna do is ruminate on what they can’t have?

There are a few different approaches one can take, and I like to oscillate between all of them.

#1 GET SO FIT

Assuming that when you had money, you spent some of it on a pair of proper running shoes you hardly used, get to running. If you don’t have the right shoes or a supportive sports bra, get to walking. What’s more fun than a natural high and a tight ass?

I was once at an ashram, and on my first day there, some guy had expressed with joy that that night’s supper was a real “yummy-yogi meal.” When my thali arrived, it was filled with flavorless mung beans and rice and something with a bit of a crunch. I was devastated…but back then, I was flying high on savings and didn’t need to playfully challenge my perceptions at every meal. Now, not only is it cool to eat bowls of slop, it’s also affordable and SO GOOD for you. 

#2 GET SO CULTURED

Despite what Instagram fitspo accounts attempt to impart, being super fit and attractive does not make you an interesting person.

So, get into **things**. Since you can’t afford to “go out,” it’s time to start going to “events.” The kind you’d ordinarily RSVP for, thinking it’ll be good for you, but bail on last minute when you get too high or a friend suggests a lavish meal followed by lavish drinking instead.

Readings, Talks, Industry Events, Gallery Openings. Things that are cheap or free, usually with cheese plates and free wine. Never underestimate the power of a reading. Usually you’ll leave inspired and have met someone cool. Then you can walk the long walk back to your car feeling like you’re living a semi-charmed kind of life.

#3 FIND GOD

You’re an adult now; so maybe you can set aside your smug commitment to atheism and open yourself up to the concept of a higher power because, hell, life is hard! Or maybe just get really into that part of you that calls yourself “spiritual but not religious.”

There’s a direct correlation between a lack of expendable income and a deep desire to study Transcendental Meditation. TM costs a significant amount money to learn but supposedly changes lives. While you’re currently unable to pay for your own mantra, why not take a tip from the centuries-old tradition of literally any other type of meditation, they’re all free!

#4 MISCELLANY

The aforementioned strategies are all, obviously, of self-helpy origins. One cannot have a Super Soul Sunday every day of their broke-ass week; so the following suggestions are for when you just want to pass some goddamn time without going into credit card debt.

Clean out your car and find the sunglasses you thought your friend stole from you six months ago! Repair that friendship!

Take a long, slow walk through an expensive neighborhood! Cry!

Go to every Sephora in a ten-mile radius and have them make samples of expensive lotions! Be pretty!

Give blood! Find out your blood type, then figure out who in your family you’ll one day need a kidney from and start being nice to them!

Go outside! The beach, the woods, college campus grassy knolls—get a little high and reinvent yourself as a person with a tan!

Some day you won’t be broke (or AS broke) and I assure you, you’ll most likely still be ruminating on what you don’t or can’t have. When that happens, it’s probably a sign that you gotta start giving back…y’know, time to volunteer.

Tagged: