09.29.2015
lifestyle

How to Love Weed and Not Be Mistaken for a Stoner

Be an aficionado; do not be a warning sign.

It can be a dangerously fine line between considering yourself someone who loves smoking weed and presenting as if the word stoner is stamped on your forehead for the entire universe to see. As more and more weed lovers proudly come out of the woodwork, thanks to the surge in pro-marijuana legislation, people who might’ve kept their smoking habit behind closed doors are now feeling loud and proud. But in some circles, such as the outside world, being a fully realized weedhead comes with the implication of being a distracted, noncommittal and essentially out-of-touch Wavy Gravy.

So here are some surefire ways to embrace being a weed lover in 2015 without looking like the quintessentially shaggy, lazy stoner:

Look in the mirror before you leave the house

Image via Dean Shareski/Flickr

Humans tend to let their clothes and hygiene tell people around them how they’re generally functioning day to day in the world. This means that if someone might fairly describe you as “disheveled” or “smelling like the inside of a nasty, old bong,” you aren’t taking great care of yourself. Sure, these days, we can all get away with wearing overalls and throwing up a messy bun from time to time, but it’s your job to also let people around you know that you can juggle your weed smoking and personal maintenance. So put on a pair of pants (with a proper waistband—that means no elastic!) and run a comb through your damn hair from time to time.

Look around your home and ask yourself if there might be too many marijuana-related objects out in the open?

Image via EmeraldCityBen/Flickr

Could your home be confused for a head shop? If someone could potentially get high from just walking through your apartment, there’s probably room to dial things back a tad. While the freedom of being an adult is honestly amazing and means you can leave your belongings in any state you see fit, your home also tells people what kind of person you are (much like clothes and hygiene, see above). So, in the same way that someone who really loves music doesn’t have it blasting 24/7 with records stacked on their abode’s every visible surface, or someone who calls themselves a foodie doesn’t keep the contents of their fridge and pantry open for all their guests to see, you don’t need to let your interests dictate your living space. Find the art and décor that maybe nods to that facet of your life. Also remember that tie-dye and Bob Marley-related art are mostly, well, bad.

Remember that in conversation, it’s not that interesting to talk about what you put in your body.

In the same way that eyes glaze over when people begin flapping their traps about the details of their paleo diet or how truly, insanely drunk they got on Saturday night, it’s pretty small and boring to talk about the fact that you smoke weed. Because, guess what, millions of people do too! So unless it’s a sidebar to another, more interesting story (about, for example, travel! Politics! The news!), don’t assume that other humans find the fact that you like getting stoned all that interesting. People like getting fucked up. That’s just a fact of life. And they do it in all kinds of ways. So be conservative with your stony stories and parse them out. Your friends and coworkers will appreciate it.

Just, like, don’t fuck around with hemp.

Image via Ben Ellis

Literally nothing screams stoner more than hemp and hemp-related anything. Whether it’s clothes, a smoothie, a necklace, bath soap, or some other astonishing can-you-believe-it’s-made-of-hemp product, just don’t. Go ahead and buy it, if you gotta, but just don’t make a fuss. The less we’re hearing the word hemp in our lives, the better. 

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