Holy Shit This Flower Bloomed In Space
This flower is extraterrestrial.
On Sunday, NASA astronaut Scott Kelly ethered every gardener on Earth by busting out this big, beautiful baby:
Kelly and his floating coworkers have been working on growing zinnias on the International Space Station for the past couple of months, according to Engadget. After some run-ins with space mold, the zinnias were brought back from the edge of space death thanks to an altered, more humanistic watering schedule by space guy Scott Kelly.
The crew has previously grown lettuce which is great, real good job astronauts, but this is the first space flower and that is a fucking astounding feat of poetic beauty, my dudes! Every time some boring non-space poet walked the old, explored Earth and likened the hue of some rose to the soul of some beau, that poet was scraping the bottom of the flippin' barrel compared to Space Zinnia over here, just surfing high in the darkness, looking over our miserable planet and moon, the galaxy before it, laughing in the face of its limits, strutting its sneering life-force before the endless interstellar blackness.
This flower is better than all of us. Almost every single person in America is doing absolutely nothing today, in comparison of this flower, and this flower is just sitting there existing. All hail the space flower.
Throw away those flowers you bought for your wife today, buddy, because she knows about the space flower now. And aren't you sick of coming up short?