10.25.2015
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Parties By Kimye: Flower Walls, Laker Girls & Fake Baby Bumps

When it comes to flower walls and preggie bellies, nothing exceeds like excess.

Kim and Kanye—Kimye, I mean—are national treasures and should be regarded as such. Their love, in particular, is so strong, so public, and so truly bizarre that it warrants its own enshrinement. 

Take, for example, the birthday party Kanye threw for a Kim on Wednesday night, where he rented out a movie theater in L.A., insisted guests wear fake pregnancy bellies (stay with me), hoisted up yet another gargantuan flower wall, wrote “Happy Pregnant Birthday Kim” on an extravagant cake, and then… screened the movie Steve Jobs.

Kim’s pregnancy jubilee—not a baby shower, btw—is so perfectly off-kilter and strange, it’s just joyful.

Your brows furrow. You scan that last string of words for meaning and context and find none. And you’re right to be baffled. Because there’s no such thing as a “Pregnant Birthday,” and there’s also no such thing as surprising party guests by asking them to wear pregnant bellies in order to, uh, relate to the birthday girl more. It’s excruciatingly indulgent, bonkers, and totally Kimye.

After all, these two take birthdays hella seriously. Remember that early this year, Kim surprised Yeezy by renting out Staples Center so that her love could play some basketball with his best pals, including Justin Bieber, Pusha T., James Harden, 2 Chainz and, of course, his bud John Legend singing the national anthem. There were personalized jerseys, real NBA referees and Laker girls to cheer the guys on. And pals who couldn’t be there made videos for the birthday boy, including Magic Johnson, Shaq, Scottie Pippen, and Carmelo Anthony. It’s… a lot. But it also has some semblance of a throughline in terms of theme and cohesive party idea. Meanwhile, Kim’s pregnancy jubilee—not a baby shower, btw—is so perfectly off-kilter and strange, it’s just joyful.

Most importantly, the birthday girl loved every inch of it. On a picture Kim Instagrammed of the aforementioned cake + cake wall, she captioned:

“My husband never ceases to amaze me! He rented out the entire movie theater to screen the new Steve Jobs (It’s sooooo good BTW) and had all of my family & close friends come dressed as their best pregnant Kim look (fake baby bumps provided on arrival!) Not sure if that was to make me feel less huge or just a fun cool theme but I loved it & had the best time ever, feeling so comfortable eating churros with a bunch of pregnant women! Just what I needed, the perfect chill yummy food birthday!!!!”

While Kim appears to be as unclear on the “theme” of this party as the rest of us, she knows good and well who she’s married to, and is perfectly happy watching him indulge his every whim. And hell, how many flower walls has this lady gotten from him by now?

Now let’s sit back and watch their worldwide influence take root as a rash of very chill, churro-filled “pregnancy birthday parties” get thrown across the globe by legions of Kimye fans ...Including me. You’re all invited to mine when I’m pregnant!

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