Secret Service: You Can Protect The President Even If You've Smoked Weed

An updated policy has one-time weed smokers eligible to protect the President.

There has never been a better time than now, to apply to work as a Secret Service agent.

Indeed, per a recent announcement, the Secret Service––a federal law enforcement agency governed by the Department of Homeland Security––is now relaxing its stance on incoming applicants, and will consider you for the job even if you’re a former cannabis consumer.

Of course, to risk one’s life in the protection of the President and other high-ranking U.S. officials––all while wearing a dope suit and sunglasses combo––applicants should still be prepared to adhere to a rigorous set of rules, and strict policies and procedures, should they get the job. But according to the Department of Homeland Security’s Applicant Drug Policy Statement, just because one may have engaged in some chronic consumption as a youth, prospective agents/former stoners won’t be excluded from the Secret Service application process. 

According to the policy statement, applicants over the age of 28 cannot have smoked, or purchased marijuana for at least five years preceding their application, while applicants who are 24 or younger, cannot have used or bought weed in the preceding 12 months.

The updated policy took effect in May, under the direction of recently appointed Secret Service director Randolph Alles, who plans to hire more than 3,000 new members in the coming years. The service currently employs about 6,500 people, according to the agency’s website.

And with the rest of the world beginning to recognize the medical and wellness benefits of cannabis, acceptance of the drug is seeing rapid increase––much to the chagrin of the noted and vocal anti-weed Attorney General Jeff Sessions

The Secret Service, going forward under Alles leadership, will be following a “whole-person concept,” CNN reports, which means past drug consumption and purchasing habits will no longer automatically disqualify candidates. So, even if you once spent entire Saturdays couch-locked and smoking blunt-after-blunt, you could potentially still get the job. 

“We need more people. The mission has changed,” Alles told CNN, while also citing a need for more security as an increase in global terrorism raises the threat level to national security. Alles also mentions the large number of family members of the President, as additional rationale for increasing the Service’s agent ranks.

Though it will likely still be fairly difficult and competitive to secure such a role within the Department of Homeland Security, we can likely all agree that perhaps nobody is in greater need of a blunt sesh, than the tired souls who protect the former reality television star-turned-President.