04.14.2017
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Here's How To Roll A Joint According To 5 YouTube Videos

It's never too late to master the joint.

For nearly a decade I’ve been enjoying weed in all its delightful forms, ultimately settling into a rotation of low-dose edibles, high-octane dabs, and fat doobs. But in that time I’ve also been keeping a dark secret: I can’t roll a joint for shit. It seems like a stoner right of passage to roll a crisp joint, like something you learn to perfect over the course of a listless summer or a lazy week at your girlfriend’s parents’ beach house.

But, alas, some of us did a lot more smoking than we did rolling and now have to face the consequences of our lifelong moochery in the form of public shame. How many times have I found myself sticky-fingered and hopeless in the face of impossibly thin papers and out-of-control crutches? Too many times to count, though I’m not especially skilled at counting either tbh. What should be easy peasy is actually difficult difficult, lemon, difficult—hence the shame.

Despite mounting evidence that your brain is pretty much done trying by the time you turn 25, I choose to believe in impossible things—and not just because a TED Talk told me to once. It’s never too late to be the stoner you want to be, especially when you can accomplish this particular hero’s journey from the comfort of your couch. 

So, grab some rolling papers and take a seat. Together, we can get through this one YouTube tutorial at a time. 

Joint Perfection

Take it from the guy who’s rolled a fully smokeable AK-47 and a tiny toaster joint, you have to start somewhere, which in this case is a basic, can-do kind of joint. Like any skill, it all comes down to practice, practice, practice—and a little technique. 

No Filter? No Problem

Look no further than this good, no-nonsense video by Canadian broccoli experts who use an overhead shot and Goosebumps-style music to keep you listening.

Make Pens Useful Again

The key to becoming a stoned MacGyver involves a basic, ballpoint pen. The ethereal background music in this one really adds an ASMR vibe that I’m not totally opposed to.

Also Dollar Bills

Weekend warrior types who look to Pinterest for life advice will find this crafty video as helpful as it is aesthetically pleasing. It’s all in the details, you know?

*No Skill Required*

As this video advertises, you need absolutely zero skills to follow along. This one may be useful if you’re already high and feeling a bit learning challenged. It also explains why there are perforated lines on your filter tips, which I totally knew about already. 

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