11.12.2015
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How to Host a Proper Papa Roach Ceremony

Save those roaches and make something special.

Ever wonder what to do with all those little joint nubs you have lying around? You know, that little bit of goodness you leave at the end of your marijuana cigarettes because you couldn’t possibly have more?

Most people end up tossing these “roaches." If not properly disposed of, these little leftovers can become quite nasty. But when the so-called roaches are saved and treated with care, they can become the chocolate at the bottom of those Nestle Drumsticks you used to get from the ice cream truck (holy crap those were good). Collectively, these “reefer remains” can be transformed into one of the finest delicacies known to those who partake: the elusive “Papa Roach."

I'm not talking about your favorite nu metal band, but a joint rolled with all of your precious lil' joint nubs, or roaches, that have been saved up over time. A Papa Roach is the cannabis-lover's equivalent to an 18th century bottle of Veuve Clicquot found in a shipwreck at the bottom of the Baltic Sea. Such a rarity is best smoked communally in a ceremony with those you love.

 

When you see that you’re amassing quite a collection of joint nubs, set a date for your ceremony. Send invites to your nearest and dearests! Unless you want to go extreme, keep your invite list small with just friends who share your appreciation for the kindest of buds. Get fancy with your invites and send real cards in the mail! Or an email is fine!

On the day of, gather all of your little leftovers, which will number from about 20 to 50 depending on how much you leave behind. Put on some good tunes, and unwrap them all. Make sure you’re not just collecting ash; the ideal nub is about a quarter inch of smoky greens. Compile and mix your bounty before delicately rolling it up in an extra long rolling paper. (I prefer the Raw brand organic hemp papers.) Rather than carrying your extra special weed stick in a regular old plastic joint holder, give it a decent place to spend the hours before its inevitable demise at 4:20p.m. A bed of velvet inside a decorative box is one way to keep your treasure safe until its unveiling.

You’ll want to host your ceremony in a peaceful setting where minds can be free to wander unhinged. With a joint made up of Lord knows what cannabis strains, there’s no telling where the Papa Roach will take you. It’s great if you live on an enormous estate with orchards and gardens or live in a Fellini film. If you don’t live in such a manner, a regular park or beach will do. If you live in L.A., this kind of thing is chill in all sorts of places—like on a Sunday at Echo Park Lake or at a bonfire on Dockweiler Beach.

For the “ceremony” itself, make it memorable. Make a Spotify playlist to match the tone of your event. Ask your most poetic friend to read an original work before the joint is revealed and lit. Have some snacks and games on the ready for the “reception," or that moment when the haze clears after the “ceremony."

Don’t forget to save the end of the Papa! One day you’re going to need that for your Granddaddy Roach (in approximately five years give or take depending on how much you smoke).

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