What to Do When Your Fave Dispensary Closes, Or Is Shut Down
A KIND guide to one of the most 21st-century problems, ever.
It's 2016, and you need weed. Or wax. Or hash. Or edibles. Or whatever cannabis–infused creation that all of the cool kids are smoking and eating, or rubbing all over themselves these days. Where do you go? Who do you the call? If you live in a state with some form of legal trees, you likely head to the dispensary.
We all have our favorite weed retailers to whom we show our loyalty. You'll visit dispensary A for their unbeatable prices. Dispensary A always hooks you up there. But you'll hit up dispensary B, if you're carrying a bit of extra $krilla on deck, and you want to spring for some top shelf nugs. Wherever you go, you have your reasons. Until circumstances dictate you no longer can.
Say whaaattttt? We're tryn' to scoop some bud!
We know, right? But you can't, because the dispensary closed. Which, in many cases, means the pot shop was either raided, or shut down by local cops operating under the influence of (the war on) drugs. Thanks a lot, Nixon!
Though that militarized mentality still lays waste to many a marijuana establishment in, again, 2016––it also kind of fuels a THC-infused game of Whack-a-mole. When one dispensary closes, seemingly 10 are opened in its place. Here in Los Angeles, a city where marijuana has been sold legally as medicine since 1996, and where The KIND is based (holler!), hundreds of dispensaries are registered with shop-locator app Weedmaps.
In Colorado, where cannabis is recreationally and medically legal––dispensaries are said to outnumber McDonalds, Starbucks and 7-Eleven locations, combined. Which, is great for when you need weed, but the McFuckingWorst, once you've gone and gotten lit and hungry. Even Florida has flower shops now, too. But why does this apply to you?
Because you're out of weed, and you want some more.
Step 1: Just breathe.
Take a deep breath in, yeah, let that oxygen get all up in your bronchial tree. And exhale slowly. Pretend you're smoking. Don't panic. Cannabis prohibition is seemingly nearing its end; each state is figuring out its own set of rules. It's not like you'll have to send one of those creepy, "Hey, this is Chad, Mark's friend. We met at the BBQ. You got any weed, bro?" texts. Prohibition is almost ever. After you've dedicated a moment of silence to the disappearing dispensary, it's onto the next, baby. Time to check out a new store's first–timers' deal.
Step 2: Grow Your Own; Use Your Phone
This may not provide the instant gratification of a fresh dab, or a masterfully rolled joint, but once that harvest moon shows its face, you'll be sitting pretty on at least a few ounces if you take care of your plant correctly. Similarly, download one of the many apps on the market that will connect you with the local pot market. Some even let your order weed on iPads—like it's a fancy Wendy's or something. Make sure your medical recommendation is on your person, though, just in case. And scrutinize the menu––you never want to purchase bud that doesn't deliver a nice bake.
Step 3: Enjoy the Herb How You See Fit
Keep on keeping on. You just picked up. Now it's time to put one in the air. Or wherever it is that dab vapor ends up, post dab. The O-Zone? Newark, New Jersey? Does it even ever really leave your lungs at all? #weed