Stoner Chic, Grownup Style
Update and upgrade, then light up.
Sure sure, all the irie fashions of yesteryear are making a comeback, but when you've got, like, a job, it's harder to pull off Zubaz and a Bulls jersey every day. Sometimes you have to be a grownup, but that doesn't mean you can't let your 420-friendly flag (chicly) fly. Here's a list of THE KIND's favorite stoner fashions, and how to wear them as a full-grown lady adult.
I'm not going to pretend like I don't love a good flannel, but no matter how much I dress one up, I still look like I'm headed to the laundry mat. There will always be a time and place for plaid, but when you're trying to look chill and like you can be trusted with the company AMEX, you've got to step it up.
It's rare that clothing can say both young and chic at the same time. Normally, borrowing from teen fashions will have you looking like Britney Spears's mom in her Seven Jeans and "fun top." No one is forever 21, but metallics blur that line in the chicest way possible.
Muubaa Bhivane Metallic Leather T-Shirt, asos.com
McQ Alexander McQueen Metallic Leather Biker Jacket, Neiman Marcus
THEN: Hemp Necklaces
Before the Internet, someone had to teach you to make these, and God forbid you were the only one of your friends who didn't know how. All through geometry class, kids churned these out like they had a quota to meet and their boss was a real ball breaker. The coolest of the cools would embellish theirs with a fatty glass bead, or worse yet, an enamel hemp leaf. Eventually schools started to ban them, which only made them cooler.
A choker will still give you that I-just-got-out-of-detention vibe without looking like you're on your way to a Phish concert. Try a soft braided leather tied loosely around your neck, or go more bad bitch with sculptural gold or silver.
Sun Ceremony Choker, Free People
Pamela Love Gold Turquoise Inlay Choker, Bona Drag
THEN: JNCO Jeans
One time I got super baked and googled "whatever happened to JNCO?" I found a low quality documentary spoof about four guys who tried to find the JNCO office and ended up at an abandoned shipping container in the middle of the desert. I was stoned, so I thought it was real.
You can't find that stupid video now (I tried), because The Google is saturated with real videos about the real return of JNCO, despite the fact that only nine people missed them. And unless you're Rihanna or FKA Twigs, you could do with a classy upgrade.
NOW: Tailored Wide-Leg Denim
Comfy, stylish, and flattering—what more could you want? Here's where I use some fashion magazine trope and say you can wear them to the office and then to cocktails with the girls! You can though.
THEN: The Oversize Army Jacket
Ubiquitous among suspect teenagers everywhere, which is what you look like if you wear one as an adult — suspect. Don't give anyone probable cause.
NOW: Oversize Parka
A very slight tweak and now you look like a blogger instead of a dealer, but you still have all the pockets you need for whatever you need them for. What are you up to anyway?
The worst was when your mom wouldn't let you buy Stüssy because it was too expensive and you had to make do with Mossimo instead. Not the same, Mom!
Look, this list is about fashion, and if you want my opinion (no one does), a logo on a t-shirt is not (fashion). Nevertheless, a logo tee can really epitomize an era so that's what this example is all about ok? Ok cool.
This might as well be everyone's older sister's senior picture if you know what I mean.
It's all about context. Fashion people are all "Birkenstocks are back!", while down as fuck bitches know the truth...they never left.
Classic Arizona Two Strap Sandals, Birkenstock
Celine SS13, Vogue.com
Tie dye is still cool, and it's still everywhere, but that doesn't mean you should wear it to the dang ballet.
Here's where you can get really expressive and go deep into showing everyone like who you really are mannnn. The world of print is vast and thrilling—go forth!
THEN: Wearable Drug Rugs
You may wear a baja pullover if you are camping or at the beach. Even the beach is pushing it. Actually probably just nah.
So versatile! It's basically a muumuu that makes everyone look like a '70s ingenue vacationing in Marrakesh, so the only real question is; why have anything else in your closet?
There you go—I just solved every wardrobe problem you've ever had.