What We Whisper When We Whisper About Weed

Monday morning cannabis confessionals.

Since 2012, thousands of folks have shared their secrets to anonymous confessional app Whisper. Search practically any term, and you’ll see it has been incorporated into laments, boasts, and even requests to borrow bongs––before being imposed over a sometimes-relevant stock image, and posted to the site, sans any byline or author identity. 

Us millennials do the darnedest things

But it can indeed be cathartic to confess our fears at the top of our lungs or wage our own private wars, while hiding in plain sight, with no repercussions or fear of judgment. People have expressed romantic frustrations. Disclosed their hopes and dreams. Some have even expressed an affinity for the aroma of their own farts. Which is great. That’s what Whisper is for. 

When it comes to cannabis, some users openly disclose a love for the herb; other enthusiasts express their admiration only when in private. 

Which could be why there’s a hell of a lot of weed content on Whisper. 

But what are people really saying? Is the phrase “I love weed,” an innocent and playful proclamation of one’s affection for cannabis? Or is it perhaps a cry for help?

Let’s take a look.

"I could probably brush up on my grammar skills but have impeccable taste in drugs and food." 

"He totally knows."

"I'm home-schooled. Actually, will you call 911? I haven't been outside in years." 

"This is Lil Wayne. I'm on Twitter right? Y'dig?" 

"I'm actually referring to myself, because I enjoy cannabis, and I'm a fairly high-functioning person who attends work, school, and even volunteers on weekends. But I feel guilty because society and drug policies not founded in fact or reason have taught me that cannabis use is indicative of and equivalent to criminal behavior."

"I already ate like six pot brownies, bro." 

"I am cool, confident, and belong to a global community of millions of people."

Though, depending on the context in which this statement is made, it could also mean: "I'm a narc."