The Truth About How Magic Crystals Heal Your Body and Your Pot Plants

Well, at least they look pretty though.

For many moons, gems and stones have been believed to have magical powers that might provide real remedies to real ailments. Crystal believers will tell you their mystical stones are imbued with metaphysical properties, meaning, by just holding a crystal, you might experience some kind of transformation or spiritual relief. But there’s a shortage of actual, research-based proof of real healing, or fixing any real ailments, and science says that healing crystals are simply relying on a placebo effect.

Humans certainly like to believe in things that can make them hotter, skinnier, healthier, and we are down to do just about anything to find love; so crystal healing is here to stay.

What are these really pretty rocks supposed to do exactly? Crystal lovers will tell you that if you place crystals on different parts of the body that correspond with your chakras, you could make an energy grid that could surround you with healing flows. Scientists will tell you that this is some hippie bullshit, or a pseudoscientific alternative medicine.

But humans certainly like to believe in things that can make them hotter, skinnier, healthier, and we are down to do just about anything to find love; so crystal healing is here to stay.

Dreamcatcher magic (via)

Though calm, rational men in white lab coats insist this is all just a gimmick, still plenty of people are forking over serious dough for crystal magic. The truth is, they are literally buying into the non-scientific miracle they claim comes with these rocks. Adele, Katy Perry, and Miranda Kerr are big believers in crystal therapy and healing. With gals like that on board, it’s hard to turn a blind eye to the strangely promising magic of personal energy and crystal healing, right? Even Spencer Pratt has an entire room devoted to crystals and their magic powers (which should turn you away now, but whatever).

Kerr’s beauty products, she claims, are all filtered through rose quartz, her favorite crystal that she often shows off on Instagram or Twitter. 

"All of my @KORAORGANICS products are filtered through rose quartz to give the vibration of self-love,” she said on Twitter.

Shopping for magic crystals is sort of like shopping for weed. There’s a magic crystal “guy” who will assess what you need from a crystal. Love? Weight loss? Creativity? Inspiration? After he figures out who you really are (or at least, what the fuck you think you want), he’ll suggest a crystal just for you, that you’ll have to pay for, that might provide some kind of happiness or placebo-induced change. Or maybe this is more similar to getting fitted for a Harry Potter wand—the goddamn wand chooses you!

Crystals (via)

There’s a gem for everything, too. Carnelian is good for sexual energy. Fluorite Octahedron is for focus and wisdom. Quartz claims to ease anxiety, and Onyx can rid your home of bad energy. You could try amethyst for headaches and good skin, or Opal for PMS. Bloodstone boasts of bettering blood pressure, while easing a common cold. Smoky Quartz will stave off scary nightmares. Lava stone will give you strength. There’s a stone for everything; so, whatever your body needs, according to spiritual healers/stone lovers/the Internet, you can find a special crystal to solve just about any problem.

Even if the lucky stones are totally fake, they still make plenty of people happy. Including people who love weed. There’s a camp of stoners who believe that these crystals enhance highs, though still there’s no scientific evidence. But there are plenty of claims from weed growers that crystals have improved their weed plants.

As missbotwin told Stoner Days:

"Plants and crystals are known to interact extremely well together, especially when the crystals are buried in the dirt. More than one stoner says that when charged crystals were applied to dead or dying plants, the cannabis somehow managed to improve in growth and health, eventually flowering and producing bud. The crystals used in this process were usually sticks with a hexagon base and a pointy end. The pointed end was put in to the soil where the plant was potted and left there. Eventually the plants began to improve. The crystals that were primarily used for this are amethyst and clear quartz.”

Adding some crystal magic to your bud really might be a good idea, or at least worth a try. 

Our kind of vibes (via)

"Crystals harbor different energies and properties that can help to raise frequencies and vibrations in the spaces they inhabit. They can also attune to plant vibrations. Many gardeners and growers use Moss Agate as it attracts abundance and prosperity in a plant. Malachite, a stone of fertility and vegetation, is great for any plant/bud/flower. Crystal quartz, the master healer, is good for the overall growth and stability of your plant babies," says Caroline Mauro, founder of  weed-crystal based company, INDA

Author Melissa Matthews tried a lot of crystals in hopes of some healing, errr, at least some magic. She tried a (very pretty) light green fluorite octahedron for more focus at work, but claims she didn’t think it had any real effect. Her mind wandered right back to Facebook chat as usual. And of course, she was willing to try out crystal healing for love, because well, why the fuck not.

"I did carry Rose Quartz around all week hoping I'd bump into another hottie with no luck,” she wrote in Marie Claire.

Amethyst (via)

True believers, like Ethan Lazzerini, say that crystal healing is no joke, and that if you really dig deep into energy and chakra balancing, you might feel (ahem, feel) real results. Lazzerini has been working with crystals for 20 years. He’s the author of Crystal Healing for the Chakras. He’s got a blog devoted to helping others find their crystals and offers a free ebook on how to protect and program your crystals so they gain the power to fix just about anything. He says to start with a clear quartz.

From Lazzerini's blog.

"Clear Quartz crystals are probably the most versatile crystals and can be programmed for any purpose. They can direct energies and enhance the energy of other crystals. It is cleansing, helps bring clarity while also keeping your energy and aura bright and strong.” 

While it’s pretty easy to get ahold of these kinds of crystals at gem shops, farmer’s markets, and Etsy, they’ll still cost you some dough if you want to build up a collection. Some small pieces of clear quartz are $5 or less. When you advance into the big leagues (gems, etc.), you could be spending a few hundred dollars a rock.

Even if these magic crystals are only the least bit magic at all, it might be worth the couple bucks to try it out, especially while you’re high or with what you’re growing, because if science is right about at least one thing, it’s that anything is possible.