Zuckerberg Outlines Facebook VR Plan, Fails to Mention Huge Orgies

VR sex, here we come!

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg presented the coming reality of VR with the Oculus Connect headset live on Facebook Thursday. He outlined the futuristic and sort of whimsical possibilities with VR, and proved without a doubt that a lot of our future might be spent with VR headsets stuck to our faces.

In a live video, Zuckerberg demonstrated real-life conversations in the VR world and explained what’s really possible in VR. He claims that soon enough, you’ll be able to actually reach out and touch stuff in this environment, and take selfies with friends and family all over the world. And soon, Oculus Touch will offer tactile sensation controllers so you might actually feel things.

Zuckerberg wrote on Facebook:

Here's the crazy virtual reality demo I did live on stage at Oculus Connect today. The idea is that virtual reality puts people first. It's all about who you're with. Once you're in there, you can do anything you want together—travel to Mars, play games, fight with swords, watch movies or teleport home to see your family. You have an environment where you can experience anything.

Okay, so that’s all sooo crazy, M. Zucks, but like, aren’t you forgetting one of the most important human things ever?? SEX. I mean, that sword fighting reference came close, but not everyone caught it.

So, does Oculus Connect mean orgies, group dates (another way of saying orgies), experimenting with expanded sexual boundaries in a “safe” environment (cluster-fucking). This new virtual reality is basically like the Sims are alive, and your cartoon avatar is actually immersed in a world of real people. In the real world, and computer worlds, people want to have sex all the time. Seems like this is the real future for VR, whether Zuckerberg admits it publicly or not.

 If you are not thinking that these rooms are going to be full of masturbating peeps, you must not be part of the human race.

Facebook plans to create a Rooms and Parties features where you can interact with up to eight other VR homeys (hornies). And you’ll be recognized by your custom avatar; so people will actually be able to socialize with you. (Or virtually fuck you.)

I mean, if you are not thinking that these rooms are going to be full of masturbating peeps, you must not be part of the human race. Perhaps nerdy little weirdly prudish Mark Zuckerberg will change online dating forever. Now you don’t have to try too hard and could possibly wander into a VR chat room and do it with some hot avatar babe without having to buy anyone dinner and drinks.

Better yet, maybe Zuckerberg will roll out these tactile sensation touch controllers for places on the human body other than hands.If Xbox controllers can vibrate when you get shot in a video game, I’m sure Zuckerberg can hire some pervy programmers to come up with something better and more please, right?