Parenting and Pot Is Hard

Sometimes parents just don't understand. Sometimes they do.

Parenting and pot is a curious combination. In the past, when smoking weed was taboo—doing so after bringing life into this world, or around/with your progeny, was tantamount to uncloseted parental failure. And could easily result in losing custody of your children. Today, as the medical and social benefits of marijuana become more widely explored and accepted, more parents are not only cool with letting kids know that Mom and Pop are blazing down, but parents are employing weed in treatment regimens for various ailments suffered by their children, or joining forces with those same kids in order to build new cannabis companies.

But the writing on the wall at the intersection of parents, children, and cannabis isn’t black-and-white. (And green?) No aspect of parenting is. This is pure speculation as a non-parent, but it feels safe to say there is no single code of behavior that all parents must follow to prevent their children growing into criminals or degenerates or worse yet: Members of boy bands that don’t play instruments.

Some parents will just naturally drop the ball.

How each parent handles pot in relation to their children is as unique to their individual situations as religion, discipline, and the age at which a brat is allowed to watch South Park. It’s a personal decision.

Which is why some parents will just naturally drop the ball.

Like this goon in Kentucky who supposedly rented drug dogs to search his kid’s room for weed. Seriously? Not only does the phrase “renting dogs” simultaneously infuriate and intrigue me––it would absolutely be dope to pick up a little dachshund for the afternoon, but are animals like, the same as cars at an Enterprise lot?—it’s also just generally a shitty thing to do to kids at any age.

Image via Marinalyt213/VSCO

PARENTS: Here’s a dog.

KIDS: Oh, wow! Do we get to take the dog on walks? Play with the dog? Learn valuable though not-yet-discernible-to-us lessons about life and responsibility by caring for another living thing? Can we name the dog Paco?

PARENTS: No. This highly trained animal is going to search your room for weed and then leave. We’re probably cops.

The Kentucky dad reportedly used a service that rents specialist German Shepherds for a quick buck to parents-like-him who are unable to have adult conversations with their children about weed. The dogs raid the house. Probably bark at pipes hidden under beds. And are assumedly chill when they’re off-duty.

From Courier Journal

"But when the German Shepherd headed to the teen's room, she zipped over to a makeup stand and within seconds found a hidden glass pipe of marijuana that was smaller than a tube of lipstick and hidden in an Altoids can."
"My heart just sank," [the father] said. "I would have easily overlooked it."
[The dog-renter] sat down with the father and advised him. "Don't yell or scream at her. Just sit down and talk to her. Be stern but be cool, calm and collected," he said.

Fat chance, Daddy-O. The being-cool-ship sailed a long time ago and left you at the dog rental office. Goon.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, parents can be too down with weed.

Image via Mitch Verde

Such was the case in Redford Township, Michigan; where a 6-year-old boy was given the boot from his basketball team because his dad kept showing up to his games smelling like he had just hot boxed his car. Because he probably did. 

According to the local Redford news, this dad just couldn’t, or refused to, turn down that loud. Unfortunately, his son paid the price. This is like, if one of those shitty anti-weed PSA’s of the early 2000’s were based on real events.


“[The child’s] father came to one of his games smelling of marijuana and was asked to leave. He left without problems, but returned to the gym weeks later smelling of marijuana and was again asked to leave.”

Least deserving father of a coffee mug thus far in 2016.

And you can’t even really be mad at this second-grader in Vermont, who, after helping his mother and her boyfriend trim their weed plants, told of his experience at school. Well, maybe you can be a little mad at the mini snitch.

Image via Youtube

From Inquisitr

“Over in Windsor, Vermont, last week, a man allegedly confessed to growing and selling marijuana after his girlfriend’s child spilled the beans to police…”
“The boy described the growing operation in innocent terms, allegedly telling police that he was helping a 'farmer' grow 'special medicine' plants. He also spoke highly of Mann’s 'green thumb' and of the marijuana itself.”

Sounds like a smart kid. Though, if he can spot good green, he might want to work on his ability to discern between chill people and the boys-in-blue a/k/a cops that want to arrest your mom and her boyfriend. 

Life is unpredictable. So it goes.

There are the parents that seem to really understand the concept that weed is just another aspect of the world we live in. If it does get legalized, it's only going to become more relevant. Until that logic persists in the majority, drug-dog-rental businesses will continue to boom––or at least still exist.