11.17.2015
culture

Sore Loser Mom Berates Cam Newton Because She Is a Sore Loser

It's true, Mom. In a better world, football players would be gentle souls.

A very concerned mother sent a scathing letter to the Charlotte Observer because she was too sensitive and pissed when her team lost. Instead of just looking deep into her soul and realizing she was pissed because fans around her were being regular football fans, she blamed her pain on the most outgoing dude in football: Quarterback of the Carolina Panthers, Cam Newton.

Apparently, good ol’ Cam was dancing, ehem, pelvic thrusting, ehem, humping the air, and this letter writer's fourth-grader daughter thought he was a lost soul who was a "spoiled brat."

Insane Mom is pissed because Newton’s air humps caused the drunk idiot fans around her to mimic these air humps—something she says no one should ever have to experience.

Listen, lady, you take your kid to a football game, and a guy does a dance in the end zone, and you accuse him of being a bad role model, you might be worse. You seem like a nice fan; so you must know how barbaric games get, right? Should we all stop our air-humping fun to make sure your daughter doesn’t ask questions? 

Perhaps this was a good time to act as a role model yourself, and explain to your daughter what was happening: Football is nuts, players are basically cracked out on life and do weird dances, and the fans are the worst part. Maybe you should check yourself, Miss Sore Loser Wannabe Fan, before you take a fourth grader to sit in the end zone of an NFL game. 

This mom is surely not the last Mad Mom who will write letters to teachers, the PTA, newspapers, Ellen, sorority blogs, etc. Maybe it's worse that now Sore Loser Moms have access to Facebook and use it as a platform for all things super sensitive and sucky. 

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